Stupid Gym Rules

Thought id repaste this hilarious EFS article im sure most of you can associate with alot of these stupid rules, training here in Korea has its benefits because Ive never been bothered for deadlifting, making noise or being too “Hardcore”. Anyway enjoy…and sorry for the lack of recent posts Ive been busy preparing for the Korean national jujitsu championships and with work.

Some rules were just meant to be broken… 

1.) “I got asked if I needed a spot on deadlifts this past week because when I set the bar down it ‘sounded like it was coming through the ceiling.’ It was 585, and the weights are on the second floor, what idiot designed this? I’ve been asked a lot of dumb shit concerning lifting, but this pretty much topped it all.” – Paul Carter

2.) “None. I’m SUPPOSED to have to contend with no chalk, no excessively loud psyching up, no slamming weights and no Olympic Lifting. But for some reason, the staff are terrified to go into the room with the metal plates when the managers aren’t there – and the managers aren’t there at midnight.” – Jonathon Wright

3.) “No chalk. No dip belts. No belts at all. On occasion, I’ll be escorted to the locker room to put away my belt. That’s when I come back out with it hidden under my sweatshirt. Every once in awhile I’ll be asked to use less plates. There’s only ten 45 pound plates to split between two racks and three benches. This is a lot, considering there’s only five of every other plate. Gotta love the direction some college’s athletic facilities are going.” – Clint Johnson

4.) “A sign on the wall that says ‘NO DEADLIFTING!’ Needless to say, I don’t belong to that gym anymore.” – Matthew Allers

5.) “No loud or ‘offensive’ music, no dropping the bumper plates on the platform and no chalk.” – Pat Kroken

6.) “No Chalk. No Vibrams.” – John Polk

7.) “24H Fitness isn’t bad. No gym bags on the floor, but the employees don’t care and no one abides by it. Oh, no tripping people on the stair masters.” – Jeff Pettijohn

8.) “The only rule in my gym is ‘all discussions during training are strength-related.’ This usually makes my wife leave. My gym is in my garage.” – Joseph Herrera

9.) “Inclement weather policy: if the schools in my area are closed, the gym is closed. If the schools have a late opening, so does the gym. If the schools let out early, the gym closes early. I thought I graduated school a LONG time ago – MORONS.” – Martin Arters

10.) “No running the AC or Heater. The temperature is decided on if the warehouse door is open or closed. Actually it could be a lot worse, so forget that one.” – David Claiborne

11.) “No noise while deadlifting and no chalk.” – Mark Leitner

12.) “No CrossFit rings, but I cant complain.” – Winston McBride

13.) “No chalk!” – Cathy Solan

14.) “I was doing deadlift reps with five plates when a bro in uniform came over and said I have to put the weight down more carefully because I’m bending the bars. I was going to ask him to show me how to lower 500 pounds so that it doesn’t make any noise. Instead I told him that the plates hit the floor, not the bar. So the faster I drop it, the less I bend the bars. He tried to figure it out, but finally said, ‘Just don’t do it.’ Fuck stupid people.” – Dmitry Voronov

15.) “No overhead barbell lifts outside of the rack.” – Tyler Kunes

16.) “The tanning salon owner calls my gym to complain that when we deadlift, his damn tanning juice falls off the wall.” – Tony Rodriguez

17.) “None. I work out in my home gym. I can listen to my music as loud as I want. I can throw weights. I can spit, swear, fart, etc. It’s great. I can use as much chalk as I want.” – Greg Miller

18.) “No chalk. No loud noises. No cut off shirts – that one isn’t bad. Although, I’m almost not allowed to deadlift because it causes old people to get scared.” – Mike Beaus

19.) “None! Just two self-imposed rules to keep the gym hardcore and reasonably tidy: one – train friggin’ hard and two – put weights away so it’s ready for next time!”– Sam Solomi

20.) “No chalk in a few of them – UNVIGOROUS. This is why I go to different gyms. I go to two real deal gyms when time allows, but I always get my work in YES!” – Chris Jonesy

21.) “I was talked to for dropping rubber plates on the rubberized floor because ‘You’ll break the plates!’ Really?” – Jeff Shellenberger

22.) “Luckily my gym is cool with everything.” – John Dubay

23.) “I built my own gym. I got tired of the commercial gym B.S., the crappy equipment and the morons trying to tell me what to do. Now the only rule I have deal with is my wife’s ‘no farting’ rule.”  – Jack Kottwitz

24.) “No bleeding on the wrestling mat. That’s as bad as it gets at my gym.” – Ryan Bodenstein

25.) “The first thing I did after joining T-Nation was Google ‘hardcore gym’ and joined the closest one. Best decision ever.” – Matthew Sykes

26.) “I’ve been banned from some gyms for chalk, too much weight on the bar and expelling air too loud. I now have three gyms I rotate between and never have a problem. Fitness clubs – thumbsdown.” – Joe Pas

27.) “No Grunting.” – Malice Inchains

28.) “Thank God none. I love my basement.” – Joe Lescano Handabaka

29.) “Thou shalt make no noise whilst deadlifting. Thou shalt use no chalk. Thou shalt bring no gym bag onto the floor – totally ignore that one. Thou shalt consume no beverage within the gym, lest it be purchased at the front desk.” – David Hicks

30.) “I get yelled at for bringing my surge in. ‘Water only beyond this point’.” – Matt Morrissey

31.) “Chalk. Chalk. Chalk.”  – Phil Johnson

32.) “Ditto on the chalk.” – Mike Donnelly

33.) “F***ing dues!” – Jason Pegg

34.) “They won’t let us use chalk unless we’re ‘clean’ about it. How about buying a chalk bowl so we can?” – Dewey Holmes

35.) “No chalk. It’s the worst. I sneak it in and get yelled at probably at least once a week.” – Byron Campbell

36.) “No chalk. Shoes must be worn in the gym. No videos.” – Lindsay Murphy Smith

37.) “No chalk is posted. No chains is the latest.” – Kyle Russeth

38.) “I lift at Zach Even-esh’s, so the only rule is don’t be a pussy.” – Steve Rizzo

39.) “No screaming.” – Davide Bartolone

40.) “I had a lady yelling at one of my marketing guys this morning about me. This is what she said, ‘He drops the weights upstairs while I’m trying to relax during pilates class!’ First of all, I don’t drop the weights, but anything over 300 is going to make noise when you deadlift. Secondly, it wasn’t my decision to put the weights upstairs above the pilates studio. Third, God forbid you should break a sweat in the gym or have to hear a loud noise.” – David M. Hicks

41.) “No chalk. I violate this every time I get a f***ing chance to do so. Besides that, it’s pretty good. We have power racks, competition bars and good plates.” – Einar Sandaker Hernes

42.) “No chalk. However, I bought some liquid chalk from you guys and it works well. Other than that, I pretty much do what I want. It’s a fitness center, but I still use bands, chains and boards. In fact, they let me keep the boards in the utility closet. Not the ideal environment, but it’s a few blocks from my house and has what I need. Oh yeah, no gym bags. But, that’s because of that nut job in PA who shot up the aerobics room. I told the manager there’s no way I can train without bringing a lot of ‘stuff.’ So he lets me slide.” – Mike Chorzelewski

43.) “No chalk. No deadlifting. No bleeding on the heavy bag.” – Ambre Pigeonlover

44.) “The last time I had a commercial gym membership, I walked in on the first day that the gym converted from World to Planet Fitness to do speed pulls. I was told that deadlifting was not allowed. I told the owner (who is the son of a former Mr. Olympia) that he should be disgusted by what his gym had become. Then, I went home and ordered a power rack and never looked back.” – Andrew Abbott

45.) No chalk. However, the fitness manager and I are on good terms, so I get by. Not really a rule, but the rest of the floor staff doesn’t like it when I perform any power or Olympic lifts.” – Benjamin Lee

46.) “We’re not supposed to have chalk, but we’re not supposed to talk on cell phones, or train in jeans and street clothes either. Until management does something about zipper heads routinely doing the last two, I’m keeping my chalk – and telling every guy who asks me about it where they can get their own.” – Sean Kerrigan

47.) “What Sean said. Basically, if they’d try to eradicate (or at least address) the d-bag problem plaguing their gym, I’d be happy to take their rules a little more seriously. Otherwise, I’ll be doing safe squats and deads in the cage, while the idiots toss dumbbells and plates at the racks after their 100th set of curls.” – Jake Scherzer

48.) “They ask me to DL with three aerobic mats underneath the plates on each side. And, if I so much as grunt with my mouth shut, they tap me on the shoulder to get out.” – Matt Lisk

49.) “None. I have a garage gym. The only comment I get is from my wife asking if I was deadlifting.” – Tuvia Tim McKane

50.) “Gym hours. There are nights when I’d train at 2 AM if I had somewhere to go.” – Eric Downey

51.) “Anything goes at Power Performance. It’s a good thing having a friend own and properly manage a gym.” – Michael Stefan Mayer

52.) “No kettlebells. No jeans.” – Faizal Enu

53.) “No chalk. No chains. No sleds. They tried to tell me no bands and no squats because they’re ‘not safe.’ Basically this all breaks down into not being in better shape or stronger than anyone who works there.” – Nick Murray

54.) “We can’t drop the weight on deadlifts. We have to put it down nicely.” – Bryan Dawson

55.) “There are gyms that do not allow hats. Rules are supposed to bridge the gap that exists from one member is to another so they can coexist in the same atmosphere. Unless the hat is obviously offensive why this rule?” – Hans Mcdonald

56.) “My old gym had a ‘no sleeveless shirts’ rule. That’s one of the reasons why it’s my ‘old gym’.”– Clive A. Clutton

57.) “Not a rule, but it pretty much ruined my day when they mopped the floor under the squat rack right before I started my training. I ended up squatting on yoga mats so my feet wouldn’t slip.” – Miles Hilvko

58.) “No chalk. Don’t drop weights. No profanity. No ‘outside equipment.’ This includes husky handle dumbbells because they’re ‘unsafe.’ Chains are a no-no and bands are allowed, but taboo. Since they’ve had to toss a bar thanks to some dickheads doing frat squats, anything over 400 pounds is frowned upon.” – Josh Ogden

59.) “No chalk. No outside equipment. No using too much weight.” – Nathan Fobertson

60.) “No chalk or chains. They don’t want to risk scratching the equipment.” – Gregg Goss

61.) “No loud music!” – John Frederik Smedemark

62.) “No excessive noise. No slamming or dropping the weights. No gym bags. No chains. No bars and no loud music – no rock or metal. So, basically, you can’t have any inkling of testosterone when you enter the gym or they kick you out.” – Jim Hester

63.) “No heavy deadlifting. No clunking plates at 450 pounds. It’s about three times what the trainers can do, and it scares them. No chalk – I just sneak in an ecoball. No chains. Apparently, many have left the gym because others’ work outs are ‘too hardcore.’ Stop doing sit-ups in the squat rack and we won’t have a problem lady!” – Chadwick Laskey

64.) “Do not remove my friend’s nail polish from the reverse hyper.” – Adam Nunnallee
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